Jab insaan sab kuchh kho deta hai, toh woh sukoon ki talaash karta hai.

Jab apne saath chhod dete hain, toh insaan ghar se nikalne ka koi mauka dhoondta hai. Main bhi aise hi nikal gaya tha, pahadon ke beech.

Lekin asliyat kuchh aur thi.

Hum logon se door chale jaate hain, par khud se kabhi door nahi ja paate.

Paise ki kami mujhe pahadon ke ek gaon ki taraf le gayi. Suna tha, pahadon ke log achhe swabhav ke hote hain. Wahan pahunchkar mujhe yeh baat samajh aayi. Kaam ke badle paise aur rehne ke liye ghar mila, lekin khatirdari ameeron jaisi thi.

Gaon se thoda door ek dukaan mein mujhe kaam mil gaya. Subah kaam par nikalta aur shaam ko wapas aa jaata. Shaam ko gaon ke log ek saath baithte the, baatein karte the. Main bhi unke saath baithne laga.

Dheere-dheere mujhe samajh aaya ki mera dard sirf uske chale jaane ka nahi tha.

Asal dard toh yeh tha ki mujhe kabhi kisi ne apnaya hi nahi tha.

Jo mere saath the, unhe meri zarurat thi, lekin main unki khushiyon ka hissa kabhi nahi tha. Unhone mujhe samjha nahi, aur shayad samajhna chaha bhi nahi.

Lekin yahan, in anjaan logon ke beech, mujhe kuchh alag mila.

Pahadon mein thand ka ek alag hi feel hota hai. Chand ki roshni, halki thandi hawa aur saamne jalti hui lakdi ki aag. Raat ko hum sab aag ke paas baithte the. Log hansi-mazaak karte the aur main bhi unke saath hasta tha, bas zyada baatein nahi karta tha.

Ek din unmein se ek ne mujhse kaha,

“Yaar, tu itna shaant kyun rehta hai? Gaon achha nahi laga kya? Koi ladki-vadki dekhi ki nahi?”

Main bas aag ki taraf dekhta raha. Jalti hui lakdi ki awaaz ke beech meri khamoshi hi mera jawab thi.

Unhe mujhse kuchh nahi chahiye tha, phir bhi woh mere saath baithte the, baatein karte the aur mujhe samajhne ki koshish karte the.

Tab samajh aaya—
apnapan hamesha apne logon se nahi milta. Kabhi-kabhi anjaan log hi itne apne lagne lagte hain ki unhe chhodne ka khayal bhi kisi apne ko khone jaisa lagta hai.

Shayad isi apnepan ki talaash mein main ghar se nikla tha… aur pata hi nahi chala ki woh mujhe yahan mil jayega.